Wimpy's Diet
by Pikfan
Summary: After Wimpy has a near death experience, he've decided to become a changed, out of character man. How long will that last? Ch.2 up. Didn't expect to have reviews.
1. Chapter 1

Wimpy's Diet

A/N: My first Popeye the Sailor story...and yeah, they're mostly out of their character, so don't remind me. Enjoy.

Plus, the ittalics when Popeye talks is when he talked to himself.

* * *

Chapter 1: Wimpy's Heartattack

One typical morning, the fat old freeloader, Wimpy, went out for some breakfast in the most famous restarant in Mock Dock City...

"Hello there, valient customer. Welcome to 'Olive's Shitty Restarant,' where you eat pay, and get outta here! Now, what would you like there?" Olive asked.

"Why I would like a hamburger please," Wimpy ordered.

"Would you really want a hamburger for breakfast? Well, who am I to judge? That'll be two dollars, sir," Olive said.

"Which I would gladly pay you Tuesday..." Wimpy 'promised.'

"Well darn my socks, my luck rocks. Because today is Tuesday," Olive danced.

"...Next Tuesday."

"No way, man. You have to pay to eat something from me."

Moments later, another customer came in.

"Why hello there, Popeye. Welcome to Olive's Shitty Resterant," she greeted.

"Olive, I wish you can change the name of this restarant. I'll have the usual," Popeye ordered.

"Will it be from the plate or straight from the can?" Olive asked.

"_What kinda stupid question is that? _The can," Popeye answered.

"Maam, I require a hamburger," Wimpy yelled.

"Wimpy? Is that you? Long time no see," Popeye yelled.

"You know him?" Olive asked.

"One hamburger in my tab," Popeye said.

"Make sure you pay her on Tuesday," Wimpy pointed out.

"Sure, whatever..._fat cheapskte,_" Popeye added.

So Popeye paied for the hamburger.

"Say, Popeye? Why did you pay for the man's sandwich?" Olive asked, giving Popeye the can.

"Because, Olive, I owe Wimpy for getting through high school and college. I's have to pay for every hamburger he eats!" Popeye explained.

"How's that going?"

"I wish I would be kissin Papi now."

"Maybe you should've done less fighting and more studying. Here's your burger, Wimpy."

"Don't be blamen me for the crap Bluto's done!"

"I should be blaming you for your attendance of your fights. In other words, you want to fight."

While Popeye and Olive were arguing, Wimpy started to twitch without noticing, until he asked...

"Holy crud! Something is wrong with my heart!" Wimpy cried.

"Shut up, Wimpy, your only having a heart attack. Now where were we?" Popeye asked.

"Are you stupid, Popeye? This man needs medical care!" Olive yelled.

"You're just saying that to get out of your losing argument," Popeye started.

"I need assistance!" Wimpy said weakly and then fainted.

"POPEYE!! GET YOUR CAR RUNNING!" Olive yelled.

"All right fine! _You better be lucky that gas prices are dropping,_" Popeye complained.

Sometime later, Wimpy woke up, finding out he's high above the clouds.

"Hello, Wimpy. I've been expecting you," Someone in a deep voice said.

"Are you...are you God? Are we in...heaven" Wimpy asked.

"God? Heaven? Of course not. It's a me, Mario. And we're on an airplane wing heading for Las Vegas! Yahoo!"

"What kind of hamburger that lady gave me for this dream?"

"You're not dreaming...your not dead either, but this is one of those vision things your having now. I'm-a problaby should tell you something important."

"Well? What is it?"

"Well, you really are alive, but you are a sleep...I, on the other hand, am awake and telling you something...anyway, you got lucky this-a time. But the next time you have another heart attack, you won't be lucky next time."

"So what I have to do?"

"A simple weight lost solution should work...about 3 or 4 tons should do just-a fine."

"Now I would let you know that I weigh only 125. I don't need a diet!"

"If you can't see your feet, there's no way your weight is 125. I've may have over reacted with the tons, but that seems more possible than your lie."

"Well, I'm not at that point, but I promise you that I could!"

"Great determination...and I'm-a like-e your out of character phase. Well, there's no point of us talking any longer. We're-a over your hospital. If you can get to your target weight, prove me wrong, and the next time we meet, it'll be a worthwhile. Oh yeah, pay the friggin bill when you friggin get it...no more of this Tuesday crap!!"

"Great...how do I get out of here?"

"Uhh...look-e! A free hamburger!"

Wimpy looked in the direction Mario pointed...and in an instant, he was pushed off the wing.

"Don't worry, fat one. This'll wake you up!" Mario yelled.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Wimpy screamed as he was about crash.

Then, he rose up in an instant from the hospital. Then he heard a quiet, but loud noise from outside. He looked out his window, and saw an airplane pass by.

"VIVA LAS VEGAS, BABY!! WAHOO!!" What could've been Mario yelled.

"That was wierd..." Wimpy sighed.

"Why hello there, sleepy head. Welcome to Olive's Shitty Hospital!" Olive greeted.

"Wait, so you own a restarant, and a hospital?" Wimpy asked.

"Sure did. Now here's your bill for the stay and the surgury...unless your gonna pay Tuesday?" Olive asked.

"No, madame, I will pay now," Wimpy said, giving her 2000 dollars.

"Sorry, I must be in the wrong room. You never give me my money," Olive said in shock.

"Well, Ever since Mario gave me a second chance, I am a changed man!"

"Sure...I'll believe that..." Olive paused in confusion.

* * *

Wimpy has survived his near death and near death experience, and he promised that he'll be a changed man. But how long will this changed phase be? And will this story get wierder as it goes along? You bet your sweet patootie it will...R/R, please.


	2. Chapter 2

Wimpy's Diet

A/N: What a way to start the new year, and what better way than to see someone's (Wimpy's) resolution after a near death experience. Most resolutions break by now. Will Wimpy's last longer than a month? Read and find out...

Chapter 2: Wimpy's First Improvement...

* * *

Days after the incident...

"Well, Mr. Wimpy, you're able to leave the hospital as of today. I'm still impress that you paid me the first day," Olive said, leading Wimpy to the door.

"But it was the kind thing I must do after you saved my life," Wimpy said.

"Oh no. I only brought you in. Popeye and Bluto did the surgery," she replied.

(Flashback)

"So you're expecting two sailors with zero experience of medical research to perform surgery?" Popeye asked.

"I don't see why not. If you excuse me, I have to go to the next room, because the patient has a serious case of...the common cold," She replied.

"Oh my. That is serious. I think you should go there right now," Bluto said in the worst acting possible.

"But Olive..." Popeye protest.

"Can it, can-sucker. She's given us a lot of money for this," Bluto whispered.

"Don't worry, Popeye. I'll be beack to finish the surgery before you know it," Olive said, leaving.

"Okay now...how do we do this?" Popeye asked.

"Outta the way, runt. What's so hard about getting rid of fat?" Bluto asked

"_Geez; I can't believe you were the one to ask that,_" Popeye said to himself. "You had any ideas?" he continued.

"(Groans). It's simple, all you do is go to his backside, turn him face down, pull his trousers down, and REEEEACH!!" Bluto yelled as he forced his arm through Wimpy's bottom.

Popeye was shocked by Bluto's actions that he simply fainted.

"Well, false alarm, boys. It was only Stage IV cancer...HOLY CRAP, BLUTO!! What are you doing?!" Olive asked, panicking.

"Getting fat from the guy's ass, what else...I don't think I'm doing this right," he responded.

"Well of course you're not doing it right! You have to flip him face up, not down...and you're missing gloves."

After Bluto grabbed some gloves and flipped Wimpy face up, he tried again. "Now that's more like it."

(Reality)

"You may not poop for a while, but eat healthy and you'll be alright with that," Olive noted.

"I'm so glad to hear that story," Wimpy said in sarcasm.

"...Okay then. Stay out of trouble," she said as she pushed Wimpy out of the hospital doors and falling down the stairs.

After that and two weeks later, Wimpy was finally able to walk again and go outside from his house, and the first thing he did is...go to the restarant that nearly killed him.

"Welcome to Olive's Shi...WIMPY?! What are you doing here? You know you shouldn't have anything doing with meat for the moment," Olive cried.

"I reassure that I'm healthy as I can be. Besides..." He started.

"It's not your health worried about. It's the pay you never give me! If I don't get paid immediatly on your next order, I'll be shut down!!" she cried.

"...As I was saying, I wasn't looking for a hamburger," He continued.

"(Gasp)!! Wimpy's not ordering a hamburger?!" Olive yelled in surprise.

"Wimpy's not ordering a hamburger?!" Popeye did the same.

"Wimpy's not ordering a hamburger?!" Bluto as well.

Pappy: Wimpy's not ordering a hamburger?!

Some random guy: Wimpy's not ordering a hamburger?!

Betty Boop: Wimpy's not ordering a hamburger?!

Bugs Bunny: Wimpy's not ordering a hamburger?!

Mickey Mouse: Wimpy's not ordering a hamburger?!

Spongebob: Wimpy's not ordering a hamburger?!

Chowder and Flapjack: Wimpy's not ordering a hamburger?!

Fox News: In other news, Wimpy is not, I repeat, is NOT ordering a hamburger!

Master Chief: Wimpy's not ordering a hamburger?!

Every type of Mega Man: Wimpy's not ordering a hamburger?!

Samus: Wimpy's not ordering a hamburger?!

Link: Wimpy's not ordering a hamburger?!

Luigi: Wimpy's not ordering a hamburger?!

Mario: (So, the fat guy followed my advice.)

(Back to the restaurant)

"You know, that worked better on T.V.," Olive said to herself. "So what do you want if you don't want a hamburger?"

"I'm thinking about the finest vegetables you have which..." Wimpy ordered.

"(Gasp)! Wimpy's ordering vegetables?!" Olive cried in shock.

"Wimpy's ordering vegetables?!" Popeye repeated.

(Repeats from above)

"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted again, I'd like some vegetables which I'll..." he started again.

Suddenly, Popeye came through the doors before Wimpy finished.

"What's this about hamburgers and vegetables?!" he asked.

"Well it turns out that Wimpy here really wants vegetable," Olive replied as Wimpy just sighed.

"Well, Wimpy. I recommend you eat some of the spinach...with no heat...straight from a can," Popeye said.

"Uhh...I perfer to eat something coo...(augh!)" Wimpy said before Popeye shoved the whole can down his throat.

"Popeye! Don't choke him! If the heath inspector finds another incedent here, they're gonna kill me!" Olive cried.

"But Olive, aren't you thr sole health inspector here?" Popeye asked.

"That's Olive the Shitty Health Inspector to you, mister!" she said after an unnoticeable change of clothes. Popeye rolled his eye in responce.

So, how do you feel about going through another accident in this shitty resturant?" Olive asked.

"You're the health inspector, not the news reporter!!" Popeye cried.

"This wasn't accident, Miss Health Reporter," Wimpy said.

"It's not? But a metal can was shoved down your non-existing throat...get it...cause your fat," she continued.

"Yeah it was, but once you ignore the 50 layers of poisoned led, the spinach tasted so good! It got me all energized all of a sudden, like I have a need to break something!" Wimpy announced and took a bar stool and ripped it into molecules.

"See? Anybody can get fit as long as you eat raw spinach daily," Popeye said.

"I'm stuffed now. I couldn't eat another bite," Wimpy said.

"If that's the case, then your total come to $25.69," Olive noted after changing back to her waitress outfit..

"But that was from a can I bought for $2.99!!" Popeye yelled.

"I don't mind. I'll just pay this and be on my way," Wimpy planned.

"(Gasp)! Wimpy's paying immediatly?!" Olive asked.

"Wimpy's paying immediatly?!" Popeye repeated.

"Wimpy's paying immediatly?!" as did Bluto, barging in.

And then the commotion repeated itself again, leaving Wimpy leaving the money on the table and ran.

* * *

A/N: A very random chapter indeed. Let's hope for more randomness within a shorter time than a year later, and thanks for the reviews.


End file.
